June 2, 2020 · 2 minutes· Tags:Eliot, Parody

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Unsplash credit: catherineheath

The Naming of Tools is a tough nail to hammer,
It isn’t just one of your parity games;
But I wonder why each and every programmer
always comes up with THE USUAL TWO NAMES.

The first kind of name is the one that’s just fine:
Such as Uppaal and Ivy and Winston and Klee,
Such as Symbiotic, Ultimate, Seahorn, Divine:
All of them nice to a certain degree.

There are fancier names for a software program,
Some almost cool, you will surely agree:
Peregrine, TAPAS, SPIN, Boogie and SLAM;
But all of them nice to a certain degree.

But sometimes the name should be mean and peculiar:
Letters that make no discernible sound.
For how are you going to impress the reviewer?
You need a name to confuse and astound.

Some of these names are just weird and bizarre
IC3, VVT, and FDR,
Names that are woeful and painful to see.

But above and beyond there’s still one name left over,
And that is the name that nobody has thought:
The name that no human research can discover–
But THE TOOL ITSELF KNOWS, and its author does not.

When you notice a dev banging up their workstation,
With reddened eyes and the look of a fool,
They are looking in vain for an apt imitation
Of the name, of the name, of the name of their tool:
Their unexplainably sizeable
Effing fallible
Hacky and malfunctioning prototype Tool.